You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
