Can Purell be used as lube?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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