I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
