I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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