I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dicks are not precious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
