Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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