is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
