a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
