How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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