The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
