Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
