Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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