i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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