Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
