But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
