You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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