If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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