i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We have started to decorate penises.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
