How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
