my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
