READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
