I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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