I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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