i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
