it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
