I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
