Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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