I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
