dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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