Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
