The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
