You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
