Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
