So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
