Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
