It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
