Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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