HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
