My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
