im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this beer tastes like vomit already
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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