so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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