i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had to cum in my sink.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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