Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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