Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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