I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm too high and old for this...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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