Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
