it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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