so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
