this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize