8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
