As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
