I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
