i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
