i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
