I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize