She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
