His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its not stalking. its research.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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