Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize