His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
