i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
