Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
