If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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