the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
