Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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