so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
