i don't like sucking hair
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
