it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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