careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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