Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize