I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
