party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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